About the last night of 2019…
Sweaty, tribal face paint still in tact, I got down low crawling like an animal across the dance floor as this bearded Viking frolicked along with me.
This man is amazing, I thought as we followed each other’s energies perfectly in sync. We were one unit of flow gliding across the floor—hot, sexy, and most of all intense. We had many moments like this reminding me of our first dance encounters in Spain at Ecstatic Awakening—raw, sensual, focused, blissed—our connection deep strong and powerful.
I watched his body close up and from afar, joy filling my heart as I watched happiness and bliss paint his face as he danced and interacted with others. It’s such an amazing site to watch someone be free and fully themselves.
I also got down with some badass dancers—finding our tribe expanding and very large in Holland. We ran into several friends and made new friends throughout the night—smiling, dancing, and getting jiggy with it.
This is the 3rd new year I’ve had outside of the states—India, Bali, and now the Netherlands. Every time has been magical. I have found family and tribe all over the world and I’m excited to continue to grow and expand these connections.
As I begin this new decade, I’m proud of the woman I’ve become. I’ve been through huge transformations and I’ve done so much deep diving. I’m finally no longer seeking. I used to constantly search for truth outside of myself—hoping I’d find some holy grail that would explain all the mysteries of life and my life. It was an endless search and then I realized the well of wisdom is right inside of my heart, being and soul. I feel at peace on my journey—there’s so much to discover about myself and the world around me and it feels good to allow life to be.
I’m amazed how much loving myself led me to a man who does the same. It’s interesting how much time I spent trying to be loved instead of feeling loved. When we love ourselves completely and entirely no matter what we come from a place of wholeness.
I still have some fears and so does Jordy, but we share these thoughts from a vulnerable open space. We honor each other’s feelings which only makes it easier to share and for us to open our hearts to one another. This allows love to flow. So many people are afraid to lose and act out of wounded and traumatized hearts. When we close we create walls and invisible barriers.
Dropping into surrender and trust and allowing each other to be fully ourselves is the pure dance of love. Not trying to control each other’s actions but honestly speaking our desires and seeing how we both feel about the life and experiences we want to live has been so freeing.
I always felt like I had to hide certain aspects of myself so someone would accept me and love me. So many people do this. 2019 was a year where I said fuck that. I’m going to be so fully me in every way and if someone doesn’t accept me – oh well. I don’t want to be with someone who can’t see me and accept ALL of me. I’m fire and ice, raw and soft, sensual and sweet—a mixture of so many unique characteristics and deep wisdom bc of my connection to God. We shouldn’t have to hide who we are to be loved. Be FULLY YOU and wait for the person who SEES ALL of you and nest into that love ❤️
2019 was me stepping back into my power and believing in myself again. I called in so many new experiences and multiple synchronicities. I live in flow frequently and I’m still learning how to fully surrender to the unknown as my magical beautiful life unfolds. It’s getting easier and I’m learning how to release the anxiety that wants to creep up in my belly.
We don’t know what’s in store for our life—Jordy and I—even though we have a vision board and we dream up all kinds of magical adventures—we still have a lot of unknown factors. We’re both learning how to drop into the surrender of life—trusting and knowing it will work out exactly how it will be.
2020 is about surrender and trust for me. I’ve decided to trust the Universe more and listen and be still to hear the messages in the current of the ethers. We’re waking up and people are doing the work to be better humans. The time is meow. We’re ready to make a beautiful world that cares for the earth, animals and other people.
The intention in my heart last night was to be quantumly connected to the unified field of unconditional love so that I’m living in bliss love and happiness in every moment. This is our natural state of being—so many are addicted to their pain bodies, trauma, drama and stories of illusions and lies—they forget who they are. A rebirth is happening where people are remembering their light that exists in every cell of their being. We are so powerful when we understand our physical and energetic body, our mind, and our emotions. We’re multifaceted beings created to live in bliss. Joy is our natural state—the state in which we create our beautiful lives.
I’m surrendering to the rebirth of my purest light Self. I’m surrendering to love. I’m surrendering to the unknown. I trust my life path and all the connections flowing my way. I trust the love that’s growing between Jordy and I and I’m grateful we called in such a powerful union. I trust God Source Creator Universe to guide my path in every moment.
2020 will be the best decade of my life and I can’t wait to see all the mystery and magic unfold — it only ever gets better and better.
I hope the same for you as you discover the truths that light up your soul. Be fully you in every moment. Don’t pretend to be someone else to make another person happy bc you’re only doing yourself a disservice. Trust your heart as the beacon of your truth and your soul. Find your way of meditation—stillness, nature, dance, sports, music, instrument—and allow the song of your soul to flow through this outlet. Be with people who lift you up and challenge you to be the best version of yourself. Love deep—especially yourself.
Cheers to 2020 and this new expansive decade!!!